


Who Passes, Who Stays

by woofbebe



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Borderline Romantic, Don't Worry I'm not Gonna Hurt You, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, I Don't Bite, Insecurity, Loneliness, M/M, OT3, Rejection, Social Alienation, Touchy Wonho, Touchy-Feely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9239072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woofbebe/pseuds/woofbebe
Summary: Everything passes.Moments pass. Days pass. Seasons pass. Years pass.But most importantly, people pass. - and Minhyuk knows that all too well.-----In which a startled Hoseok deals with Minhyuk who is in the verge of breaking down.*P.S.: Don't worry, everything gets brighter. Everyone loves Minhyukkie. *spams confeitos*





	

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this angst wasn't intentional ; - ;)/  
> My first (finished) fic on this fandom was supposed to be a fluff of my mother ship ShowHyuk, but I'm always underhandedly angsty, and I always love WonHyuk (or them three together), and this just got finished first.  
> And seriously I meant this to be a drabble? almost 3k words WTH??

 

Everything passes.

Moments pass. Days pass. Seasons pass. Years pass.

But most importantly, people pass.

It is something Minhyuk has known for a long time. Perhaps it even dates back to his time in elementary school. As a child who learned things really fast, even considered to be a prodigy, some sort of a barrier was just there. It wasn’t apparent at first. Never at first. But sooner or later, other kids tended to just avoid him. ‘He’s weird’, they would say.

He knew too much too soon, thus he became different. What he talked about wasn’t easily understood by his peers. Or he excelled in things too fast, unknowingly making the others felt left behind. And by that, the person that was Minhyuk, was no longer welcome. The cheerful kid, the sunshine that was Minhyuk, was no longer wanted. Though he was a good kid, still is up until now, it wasn’t -still isn’t, apparently- what people wanted, no matter whether they were kids or adults.

‘Good’ is insufficient.

Although Minhyuk was raised to be a deeply good-willed kid, by both his beloved mother and grandmother, he learned years ago that you can’t make people stay by just being ‘good-willed’, no matter how he was taught that it was the best thing for one to have. People want someone 'fun', he realized the hard way. They want someone who can please them, who can cater to their preferences. Who the fuck cares about motives?

One time in high school, he remembered, he used to have a best friend he was really close to. The person was really understanding, and Minhyuk admired him for it. He was smart, and so both of them could relate and communicate easily. They shared hobbies, opinions, and personal experiences, and Minhyuk thought they were going to be forever friends, like those he saw in comedy movies. Being his sentimental self, he even imagined both of them to be living as neighbors, side-to-side, in their future. He just trusted that person very much, feeling really familiar around him and treasuring him deeply.

Sadly, said future was something non-existent. The person who used to be his bestfriend too soon couldn’t bear him anymore. One day he was taken by another group for an academic project, and Minhyuk noticed it was one of those popular circle they had in school. Nothing went off at first, but then again things were always okay with him first time, weren’t they? It was until weeks after, when tension he couldn’t name started building itself up, creating another barrier he was already familiar with, dreading it. And he felt it; he felt the connection getting loose. His ‘bestfriend’ seemed to not understand his jokes anymore, if he was even trying that is. His replies became less and less frequent, less enthusiastic, as days passed. He realized all those. But he still didn’t see it coming when the words were slapped to his face.

“I don’t know. You’re like an alien, Minhyukkie”.

Alien.

It was such a familiar word to him. But then again everything he heard that time was familiar.

The way his own name was too familiar on his ears that it made him sick. The words that caught him off guard, surrounded by yet another familiar surge of anxiety. And then that word itself that Minhyuk had heard a couple of times directed at him.

“The others, we just can’t understand you. And you’re too quiet at times and too loud the other, it felt eerie. You’re too different, it’s as if you’re some kind of an alien.”

_Alien_.

Some might find it fancy to be called so, he knew. An ‘advanced being’, despite of many forms they are presented in. But really, to Minhyuk, it was literally the last thing he would want to be called with. It is an unknown being. It dehumanized him. It cut his reasons to be there in the world. To him, being called so was like throwing his rights to be with them completely. That the words came from someone he trusted the most at the time obviously didn’t help, either.

It stabbed his heart, ripped it from his chest, and then throwing the shreds with his ragged body to the asphalt of the road.

.

It killed him once, but he’s as strong as he is sensitive, and a year later he recovered. At least, mostly.

But certain scars leave marks.

 

X

 

It was another hectic month for the band due to the come back schedule, yet to be honest, everyone knew the day was particularly hard on Minhyuk. All of them knew that some ‘fans’ kept posting hate comments and messages towards him on the posts. It kept saying that he was ‘so fake’, and a few even shouted with capslock for him to just ‘quit it’, or to ‘stop annoying the other members’. Minhyuk stayed somehow cheerful as they went through the comments, but of course, the rest of the members knew better.

.

“Seriously I can’t bear watching how fake Minhyuk is,”

Minhyuk was with Changkyun when the first hate comment showed up, and being the observant maknae he is, he stayed quiet, knowing the approximate thoughts swimming in his hyung’s mind. Both let it pass without missing more than a beat. If the stylist in the room realized Changkyun tried to act cute and spam his aegyo on the hyung afterwards, she was not going to mention it.

.

“Can Minhyuk just quit being so fake and leave the other members alone??”

The second time, he was with Shownu. The older had one of his arms around him as they were resting together on the couch while monitoring the aired show. Minhyuk didn’t flinch, and Shownu was partly relieved for it. But even from the corner of his eyes, he could see something stirred in Minhyuk’s eyes. It was something similar to that time Jooheon ate his pasta and showed how disgusted he were by the taste, only this was far longer, and the flickering glint was even harsher.

This scared Shownu, if he was to be honest with himself. Because although he knew how strong Minhyuk is, especially reminded by how he himself tended to half rely on him on his toughest days of handling the boys, he also knew how fast and intense his partner is on picking up things. The leader feared he would take it to heart, so he tried to anchor his weight a bit more onto him, subtly coccooning him in his warmth. He really didn’t want to imagine Minhyuk avoiding him again due to his doubts concerning these things. The clashing schedule already did so much, and as much as he was happy to spend the time getting to know other members better –especially Hyungwon-, he really didn’t plan on letting go of the boy from his arms. Sunshine or not, Minhyuk was what always made him feel at home; peaceful and loved, and he wanted to give back to the boy just as much, if not a lot more.

 

.

The squad finally reached home. With each of their stomach growling, everyone was so eager to help prepare dinner. Kihyun started preparing the ingredients, while Changkyun and Hyungwon prepared the table and eating utensils. It didn't take long for it to be ready, and Minhyuk's eyes particularly lightened up realizing his favorite foods were on the menu tonight. He didn't really think about whether the menu was intentional but he still silently thanked Kihyun, either way. The pinkette might get very cheesy and cringy and savage at times, but really he was such a blessing to the group, he thought. His foods had been not only delicious, but they also tasted of home. They sticked them together even more; not merely feeding their hungry tummies, but also being their panacea when things got rough.

After dinner, the boys splitted up for a while to do their things. Two of them were showering, as Minhyuk himself had just finished his turn. Another was reading in the other room, and the rest were either eating snacks or starting to watch a movie in the living room.

As the night was rather cold, Minhyuk opted to wear his grey sweater. He dried his hair a bit then sat on his bed. To be truthful, he wasn’t in the mood to do anything. The day was tiresome as usual, and those hateful comments certainly didn’t help; it obviously made it worse. Any bit of energy Minhyuk had left, it was gone the moment he remembered the burning words.

‘Fake’?

_Is  it so wrong to be fake?,_ he thought. It’s not like he was even sure he was faking things. Even if he actually did, it’s not like it’s a bad thing to do, or so he argued.

What if he was faking for the good of the other party? Would it be wrong too? Would he be a bad person if he _fakes_?

It’s not like he actually tried to fool anyone, such ill will was always a good mile out of his mind. He just didn't want to burden them, thus he tried to only show his bubbly self. People always liked a cheerful person, didn't they? They even called him the 'sunshine' of the group, who was he kidding? So why were they protesting now, he complained to himself as he silently let out a small sneer. _Unfair_ , wasn't it?

Was it so wrong? He realized that people preferred something that they could relate and connect with. And people’s problems, including his own, were mostly something personal. Something personal, unique, or complex; -particularly saying , Minhyuk’s problems-, they weren’t really something people could relate to; it would tire them eventually and they would leave him. Again. Just like what many people had done to him in years back. And he didn’t want that. He had worked so hard up to this point. Going through the days of No Mercy, being set up with his bandmates, building family with said bandmates, up until he actually loved each and every of them and cared deeply for them.

He couldn’t afford to mess it up.

His heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

His body suddenly felt cold again despite his sweater, and his cheeks grew an unwelcome warmth as he imagined the fans leaving and his band –his family-,  tearing up because of him.

 

_Everything stung._

 

.

 

Hoseok had been worried since this afternoon. Minhyuk had been looking off since then and he finally knew why from Changkyun after their show ended. The worry doubled as he remembered what Minhyuk told him months ago, that in which Minhyuk talked about people leaving him. It was back when Hoseok’s anxieties were eating him, and he anchored himself to Minhyuk’s side, absorbing whatever warmth and compassion the boy always displayed. One day he told him of the times his own worries ate him to Hoseok, the time when people rejected him for what he actually is, again and again. Today’s events seemed to wander dangerously close to those moments and it made him couldn’t sit still. Despite on the way home the raven haired boy sat next to their leader -presumably to comfort himself in his calm nature- , Hoseok couldn’t help but tried to steal glances of his face in the window’s reflection, trying to read his emotions and making sure he’s okay. Sadly it didn’t seem to be the case, as he had expected.

Luckily, the overall mood of Minhyuk and the rest of the group seemed to have improved over dinner. It was delicious, as Kihyun had seemed to pick up on Minhyuk’s mood as well and gave extra efforts on making his favorite meals. But still, the matter kept on tugging on Hoseok’s mind, and he felt guilty somehow to Kihyun because he couldn’t enjoy the dinner properly. It eased his mind though, since it seemed that Kihyun did succeed on brightening the brunette’s mood. He kinda smiled too while he heard Jooheon and Changkyun were planning to watch some animated movies which just happened to be one of Minhyuk’s all time favorites, he recalled.

.

After dinner, Hoseok went to his room. He heard that they would be going overseas in a week and he thought it would be good to read something to at least know the tourist attractions there first. He had been reading the travel book for half an hour until he then decided to quit since he couldn’t focus on it anyway with his mind on Minhyuk. He had just sat up to grab a drink when Hyungwon entered the room, making a beeline towards every bed one by one. He then left the room with pillows, comforter, and even plushies in his hold. Hoseok frowned at the number of things that filled the boy’s arms, but made no question.

As he stepped out of the room, he remembered Minhyuk had just finished showering. He wanted to tell him about the movie and invite him to watch it together with the others, so he changed his course to the nearby bedroom. It seemed like Minhyuk forgot to actually close it, so he just pushed it open.

 

What he didn’t expect was to see the boy curling in his bed, though.

 

Trying to set aside his shock, Hoseok rushed to Minhyuk.

 

“Minhyukkie, what’s wrong...?”

 

He earned no reaction from the boy, and it sent unsettling feelings shooting back and forth in his heart. He really felt like panicking but he knew it’s not what the boy needed.

Short on idea of what to do, Hoseok carefully placed his palm on the back, slowly tilting his head up to meet his eyes. He gently brushed his bangs to the side with the other palm, resting it on the side of Minhyuk’s cheek.  The set of eyes that greeted him afterwads made him partly regretted even meeting them. It felt wrong; they were pitch black and hollow. Wet with unshed tears. It felt cold, no matter how Minhyuk’s head actually felt hot under his palm.

It wasn’t the fact that he was most afraid of, though. What made him afraid was how Minhyuk’s eyes still didn’t meet his.

 

_He’s still alone._

_He’s still down there._

 

It scared him. He knew what it was like. Drown in despair all by yourself; it wasn’t a pretty thing, never will be.

 

_It’s not fair_ ,he thought.

 

Of all people, Minhyuk had never deserved this. It’s downright unthinkable. He’s the least to deserve this. He’s their sun, no matter how clouded the day was or would be. He was their healer, their painkiller, no matter if even he himself was in pain. He just tried to be his best, so why was he in this state now?

 

_Please come back to me._

 

_Please come back to me, Minhyukkie._

 

Hoseok whispers deep down as his eyes were starting to be glazed over by tears too. He was at a loss of what he should do. He’s not exactly the best at comforting people, being more of the type to follow his instincts. And by so, his hands moved on their own accords again; the one on the back of Minhyuk’s head started to pet it softly, pressure added gradually as if afraid his touch wouldn’t be enough to reach him, just like how it was previously with his voice. The other on his cheek started to rub gently, savoring the texture on Minhyuk’s smooth skin with his thumb. As his gaze ran over Minhyuk’s face, he started to hate himself a bit, how he still admired how beautiful he was even in such a state. Oh how he was willing to do anything just to get life back into it, into his eyes, into his lips.

 

A single tear rolled down Minhyuk’s cheek, wetting Hoseok’s thumb. It startled him and he abruptly searched his eyes. It didn’t seem as lonely or hollow now, but somehow he felt them tugged at his heart greatly; as if calling for him, silently begging. And suddenly he was shivering from a rush of emotions –an understanding-, and as he looked deep into Minhyuk’s eyes, his lips unconsiously whispered,

 

“We’ll stay, Minhyuk.”

 

It’s not enough.

_Closer._

 

And so he hugged Minhyuk, his left arm on the small of his back, the other cradling him with the hand still petting the back of his head.

 

“You know we’ll stay”, he whispered again deep into his ear, then kissed his tears away.

 

Hoseok could feel his heart almost giving out as his feelings overflowed. His whole body aching to feel Minhyuk’s warmth, palm rubbing his back, running slowly down his spine.

 

_Please stay._

 

“I’ll stay”, another whisper, voice shivering, as he planted a breathy kiss to Minhyuk’s ear.

_Stay, Minhyukkie._

 

 

“Hmm,”

 

Suddenly Hoseok felt an arm on the back of his waist as he heard a small voice.

 

Hoseok couldn’t be happier to hear Minhyuk’s small grunt; the breath he let out felt so warm on his cheek. He then tightened his hug on the brunette, one hand trailing up his jaw as he looked once again into his eyes. There was light again, and he could actually feel the warmth under his gaze.   _Minhyuk was back._

_He’s back._

 

He could finally let out his breath. It was all too much and he needed to pour it out. Without him realizing, he had moved closer, lips aimed to Minhyuk’s forehead, followed by the same lips traveling lower to kiss his eyelids.

As he brought their foreheads to rest against one another, both slowly smiling, a thought passed his mind. He couldn’t be more thankful that Minhyuk were back in his arms and that those darkness in his eyes were already gone, replaced by warm and dazzling glints.

 

-

 

Later when the two hyungs entered the living room hand-in-hand with Hoseok's arm around the other, everyone couldn't contain their grins. Shownu patted the spot next to him on the couch, which was eagerly filled by Minhyuk. He was soon resting against Shownu's arm, while still holding Hoseok's hand in his. He accepted the cute plushie that were pushed to his lap by Hyungwon, the cute bunny warmed his heart too, somehow.

As he started to feel a bit hungry again, he grabbed the snacks Kihyun provided, savoring the sour and sweet taste that somehow reminded him of the candies he used to eat in his grandmother's home. He glanced up, noticing a bunny police girl on screen with his fox boy partner. Curving his lips into a small smile, he hummed happily knowing they were watching Zootopia, one of his favorites. He then nuzzled Shownu's neck and rubs Hoseok's fingers in his hands as he started to lose himself in the movie. Responding to his touch, Shownu bent his neck slightly, resting his warm cheeks on Minhyuk's head. He smiled when he noticed Hoseok's other arms around the boy, his other hand still in Minhyuk's grasp.

.

 

_Dark clouds pass and sunshine stays._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how the ending got that way?? oTL  
> I'm pretty satisfied with this, tho.  
> Anyway, you see? I don't biiiitee! #shot  
> You can go blame this on that centipede that casually passed by on my feet when I'd just started showering (hopefully he/she/it really only passed by to scold me to clean my room because I still haven't actually found he/she/it sobs TAT).  
> (..Because before he/she/it passed I actually planned to write kinda steamy ShowHyuk lol)
> 
> Oh. And hey, I haven't watched Zootopia. Scrap it, I haven't watched so many good movies *sobs*.


End file.
